On the home stretch, now; "paying-off" ship in about a week, then flying back to Britain. My imagination is full of all the cool things I want to do when I get ashore.

(But.. most of it is kinda outdoors-ey stuff, and I kinda suspect maybe I'll experience something of a gumption deficit once I'm actually I'm back in a country where the daily peak temperature isn't like 30°C in the shade..)

Recently I learned of "simpress": simulated press/media events (e.g. in mocked-up television news studios) designed to teach naval personnel how to repel/deflect awkward questions from the real press about all the lousy decisions the navy makes.

I'm sure it's a common enough thing for corps., govts., etc. to do - but.. just.. ugh. Everything has to be stilted and sanitised and distorted before it can reach the public (for whom we are *supposed* to be working).

Honesty? Nah, mate, this is PR.


• Volunteered for three gate sentry duties in the past 24 hours. Originally volunteered out of pure altruism - but then discovered that there is free WiFi at the port gates (and nowhere else within like 200 miles).

• It is also the first time since like August that I've gone anywhere without my deck knife in my pocket ('cos why would you need a deck knife at a gate, right?) but then a lovely passing local gave me a delicious-looking, sweet-smelling - and /utterly impregnable/ orange.

So like, lately I've been reading lots of London bicycle (and motorcycle) courier memoirs. Julian Emre Sayarer; Emily Chappell; "Carin' Sharin'" Dave Gurman. I always miss London loads whilst I'm at sea, and reading these helps me maintain some sort of tenuous connection to it.

[And yes, I realise "it" is basically a massive, uncaring concrete monolith.]

Trouble is, despite all common sense (and all their authors' advice), they're kinda making me want to try being a bicycle messenger.

EJ boosted

Good morning, all. We're pushing out a maintenance patch today. You shouldn't notice much. Changelog:
* sunrise now 3 minutes later
* fixed exploit that was enabling some livestock classes to fly
* XP penalty for pun overuse increased another 20%
* dental examination mirrors now require a ritual upgrade to be traversible, bringing them in line with other mirror types - this was a design oversight, dentists were not intended to have otherworld access at low levels
* value of pi increased by 0.001

When the captain comes onto the bridge for the first time in a while, it's customary for the person who has the con at that moment to give him a brief update on where the vessel is.

Self: "Captain, we're about thirty nautical miles south of the Peloponnese Peninsula"

Captain: "Well, that's easy for you to say.."

Mysterious phenomenon (and also embarrassing thing wot I did during a recent maritime aviation exercise):

Reported an aircraft inbound to the ship, facing us head-on (deduced from being able to see both its red and green sidelights).

It was inbound for a *really* long time.

It was, in fact, Capella.

I didn't even know it was possible for stars to twinkle red-and-green!

(Since then, I have been looking out for ones that do; the best examples I've seen so far being Sirius and Betelgeuse)

So our ship has embarked a troop of Albanian commandos. They spell it "Kommandoes". I can't seem to shake the feeling that they're actually from the Warhammer 40k universe.

(Either that or they're some kind of little-known paramilitary wing of the KDE foundation)

'Midday Pipe': A tradition (I suspect only British, though I don't really have the experience to be able to say otherwise) whereby, on a long sea passage, a seafarer will at midday broadcast the vessel's position, a summary of the previous day's passage, that of the following day, and a joke or an amusing fact. Job usually falls to a cadet.

On my ship I have been (by dint of being the least radio-shy cadet) 'in charge' of the midday pipe.

Any clever jokes or facts very much appreciated!

@cosullivan Hello! Just discovered you!
Two things:
1) Oh, crumbs, I never realised 'flaneur' was a gendered term!
2) Great, now I have to watch 'Hackers' again..

"The Pink City of Air and Space": Like, is Tolouse actually even a part of our world? Or some rare, longed-for figment of an alternate, utopian (probably also slightly dieselpunk and/or ray-gun-gothic..) reality?

Today I learned: The 'paradox' of Achilles and the Tortoise can be a dashed terrific way to introduce folks to the concept (and utility) of summing convergent series..

EJ boosted

if someone asks "do you feel me?" the correct response is not to try to feel them

@satan_alie Hullo! Welcome to Masto! Like, if you need to know how any of it works (and if my own experience is anything to go by..) you can totally just holler your questions into the void, and pertinent, friendly answers shall be forthcoming..

A view from a Pyrénée, wot I did go up and photograph today..

Earlier today I took some photographs from atop a Pyrénée; albeit with all the style and precision of an elephant crossing an ice rink (photography ..does not come naturally to me.)

If I am feeling extraordinarily, unhealthily, Russell-Brand-ishly self-confident later, I may toot one or two of them.

Meta-don; WilW-related Show more

Meta-don; WilW-related Show more

So today I saw a very pretty, very stylish French lady - but despite her beauty and sartorial perfection there was something ..somehow off.. about her.

For a while I couldn't figure out what it was. I thought maybe I'm simply not used to encountering such beautiful ladies or such high-fashion.

And then I realised: she was wearing Tony Hancock's hat.

Show more
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