There once was a wind up mouse
He lived in a very small house
his tail was so white
that he got into a fight
and stole his 'opponent's' spouse

I sure don't hope my boss would do that to me! #anticapitalism #eattherich #feedthepoor #activism #activisthumour #humour #joke #meme #satire #finland #suomi

There once was a man named Artin
Who's relatives all were fartin'
He went to the loo
Invented a shoe
And then became known as Doc Martin

There once lived two St. Bernard dogs
Who thoroughly enjoyed climbing logs
When one of them fell
He went to heaven, not hell
And the other now likes to eat frogs

High in the canyon, lived an Eagle,
His name was Beagle,
He saw a beautiful girl,
Who was wearing a pearl,
She turned out to be a Sea Gull.

There once was a man from Arabia,
Who had a bad case of hysteria
He threw open the door
Pulled out some C-4
And then he blew up the whole area!!

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

There once was a lady named Suzy,
Who was feeling the slightest bit woozy.
She almost threw up
After just waking up
To find herself in a jacuzzi!

There once was a man with a smile
That was seen from over a mile
If you did good he grinned
The same if you sinned
But not if you yelled, 'Sieg Heil!'

This is one of the funniest stories I’ve ever shared online. It helps if you read it out loud to a friend.

The Chili Cookoff Chronicles

These notes are from an inexperienced chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from Canada.

https://pfunnies.pfitzinger.net/chili-cookoff-chronicles/

There once was a toad in the road,
the toad in the road's name was cload,
then along came a car,
and spread him afar,
and now cload is part of the road.

There once was a duck named Brulikken,
Who was colder than the dickens,
So he put on a clove,
Jumped in a stove,
And soon became fried chicken.

When I visited a sports shop recently, I pressed the bell that said "Service."

I got hit in the face with a tennis ball.

There once was a nice mellow flower
Who she had crazy tremendous power
She was yellow and blue
She does want to know you
But she has to go cause it's her hour!

A fellow ate too many beans
And blew the seat out of his jeans.
When he did this he said,
'I need needle and thread.
You know I don't like to make scenes!'

I went to a restaurant yesterday. I asked the waiter, “Will my pizza be long?”

He said, “No, it’ll be round.”

There once was a girl named Tilly.
Who had a brother named brother named Billy.
She stepped on his toes,
And punched his nose.
That's the truth, really!

Wrong! I don't have to pursue them! Insurance companies send them to me, so ha!